Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
