Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
