it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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