Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My vagina is very pro this idea
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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