you mean i was at the winter classic?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
