Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
