And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
