I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
