Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
