a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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