how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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