she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
