Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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