It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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