hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
