Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
kristin has been a bad kristin
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
