dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
