According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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