Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
