what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
