There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
