I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
