Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
