Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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