Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
