Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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