I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
