I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
