fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
