Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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