But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
my liver is dry heaving
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
