i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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