Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just had sex bonerless
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
