i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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