then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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