Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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