ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
