Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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