She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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