Swine flu. Run for my life!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
