i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
