During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
