i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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