Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
