Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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