it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
