Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
