I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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