She is in my trunk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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