no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
