I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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